Martha "Stewart" Washington Candy

These candies are one of the traditions that has survived for generations in my family. My mom has been making them for my entire life and my Nana made them for her growing up...and so on. They are called Martha Washington Candy, but my Mammaw, who lived with us in Maine and New York, watched a lot of Martha Stewart....so when my 6-year-old self automatically associated "Martha" with "Stewart," I mistakenly referred to them as "Martha Stewart candies"...which is what they've been ever since.

It's only fitting that I share these with each of you. Consider this my Christmas gift to all of my readers out there!

What you need:

• 1 stick butter
• 1 can sweetened condensed milk
• 2 lbs. powdered sugar
• 1.5 cups dried coconut
• 1 quart chopped nuts (we use pecans)
• 2 packages of dipping chocolate/almond bark
• KitchenAid mixer. Do not...I repeat: DO NOT...attempt to mix this by hand. Unless you are a body builder or have otherwise very strong arms and hands. Otherwise, do not attempt this sans KitchenAid.

Start by melting the butter. Allow it to cool and add remaining ingredients gradually and mix well. Allow the mixture to chill for a bit in the fridge--this will allow the ingredients to "meld" and set up, which makes the following steps much easier.

After some time (30 minutes or so), start rolling the mixture into balls approximately one inch in diameter. See my mom's lovely illustration below... :)

Continue to ball entire mixture, place back in fridge for another 30 minutes to an hour (mixture will have warmed up during the time it took to ball it...from your hands and from sitting out).

When the balls have chilled, melt the chocolate.

Now all you have to do is coat the balls in chocolate and place back into the fridge to chill/allow chocolate to harden.
The final step is to eat them. Lots of them. And give lots of them to your friends. If you don't have friends, these will change that for you. So give them to your friends, your neighbors, your co-workers, strangers...and be sure to drop my name when you win Employee of the Month and Miss America (or Mr. Universe). You should also know that these have zero calories...Merry Christmas, everyone!